Investors
Ways to lose money in a Camry (and ways not to)
- Optimal−6%/yr
🏆 Class win
Perfect pit stops, zero incidents, a podium. The trophy is a hubcap and the prize money covers one set of tires.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $539.
- Realistic−16%/yr
🏁 Finish upright
Mid-pack and no fires. Still burned a season of tires, entry fees, and roughly nine miles of zip ties.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $175.
- Bad−30%/yr
💥 Black flag on lap 12
We met a tire wall at speed. Insurance is a word we have heard other teams use.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $28.
- Horrible−3%/yr
🔥 Engine fire
A very expensive campfire, but with California energy prices, free heat and light is basically a dividend.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $737.
- Comparison+1%/yr
🧸 Beanie Babies
Mint condition, tag attached, never touched by human hands. Sits in a drawer and mostly refuses to lose money.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $1,105.
- Comparison+8%/yr
🏡 Tijuana property
A lot with an ocean-ish view and a taco stand within walking distance. Zero engines to catch fire.
After 10 years, $1,000 would become $2,159.
Frequently asked questions
Is this a real investment opportunity?
Yes. You're welcome.
When are we returning things we promised to return?
Don't worry about it and don't question the lion.
Why are Beanie Babies and Tijuana property on the chart?
They're good investments. We know the chart looks better than your portfolio.
Where does the money actually go?
Nyle's fruit stand. No further questions.
Can I lose everything?
We generally don't lose.
Do investors get any perks?
Text us after midnight.
How do you prevent corruption?
This is our corruption policy.
How do I get in touch?
Please don't.